So lately, I’ve been reflecting on the past 6 months and how my life has changed oh so very much.  I would say it’s definitely for the better.  However, I don’t think people talk enough about how hard it is being pregnant, giving birth and then taking care of a little person.  Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but I feel like there’s a lot of pressure to tell people how wonderful I am, what a good baby Vaughn is (and he is!) and that everything is perfect in my life.  I’m not wonderful, my baby is very good most days (he’s just a baby after all) and not everything is perfect in my life.

I’ve decided I’m not a stay at home mom.  I like being an out on the town getting things done mom.  I get restless when I’m at home all day.  Vaughn doesn’t like being cooped up all day either – at this stage in his development he seems to thrive on going out, seeing and meeting new people and learning how to work his mojo.  So for now, we’ll continue to do that.  I just hope that when the weather turns that we don’t go too stir crazy.  I guess that’s what sleds and snowsuits are for…

Oh yeah, the point of this blog… the little things.  Little things can be good or bad, depending on which way you look at them.  Are they important?  Or are they just little things?  For example, does it matter that my house has an inch of dust after just 2 days or is it more important to play with my baby?  I think we all know the answer to that one – the dust is just a little thing.  Unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

But then there are the good little things, the unappreciated little things and the little things that make my life worth living:

When I’m crying for no particular reason and can’t tell Tim why, he’ll just come and kiss my forehead, tell me that he loves me and gives me my space.

When Vaughn sees me come into the room and his face lights up with a huge grin.

When I look like something the cat dragged in and Tim tells me I’m the most beautiful girl in the world.

When I haven’t showered, have baby puke on me, my hair is a rat’s nest and Tim still wants to hold me.

When I make an effort and Tim notices.

When Tim picks up all the dog poop even though it makes his stomach turn.

When my friends are okay with the fact I don’t call them as often as I used to, or can’t go out with them as much.

There are so many more little things, and I’ve decided that I need to make more of an effort to appreciate those, rather than focus on those pesky little things that can make life harder.  They only make life harder because I’m letting them.  So what if the dishes aren’t done?  Is it really a big deal that Tim wants to watch hockey and sports highlights?  No!   Can Vaughn cry a little when I just need some time to deal with things?  Yes!

I’m not a supermom, I’m just a person.  Life is full of little things, good and bad.   I’m going to try and appreciate the good little things, let the no so good little things slide and see if that makes a difference in my day. 

Last Saturday, Tim and I hired a sitter and decided to head out for dinner and a comedy show.  Damonde Tschritter was headlining Yuk Yuk’s and Simon King was middling so I knew it was a show I didn’t want to miss.

For dinner, we decided to try somewhere new.  We ended up at Loungeburger, a new designer upscale burger restaurant.  It’s located right across from the Saddledome on 14th Ave SW and Macleod Trail.  Parking was a little tricky and the door wasn’t the easiest to find, but we made it in!  The menu is a meaty one for sure.  You can choose any of the “house” burgers or you can build your own.  There is even a $40 kobe burger served with prosciutto wrapped lobster and a truffle mayonnaise.  Decadent to be sure, and when I go back to work that will be one burger I’m going back for.

I’m not going to go on and on because I have much to write about but suffice it to say that if you have a big appetite, don’t order the sliders.  They will not be enough.  And I think that’s the big reason Tim didn’t like it there.  I, on the other hand, loved loved loved it!  It’s a little expensive, but you always pay for the ambience and the little extras.  I like burgers and for sure I’ll be back to Loungeburger – with or without Tim! 

Off to Yuk Yuk’s.

Richard Lett was the MC and I found his first 10-15 minutes a little tedious to sit through.  None of his material in that time seemed very original and to be honest, I could take it or leave it.  It was a little dirty for my tastes but the audience as a whole didn’t seem to mind it.  Where I started to get into it was when he transitioned to his more personal bits about getting, fighting and living with cancer.  That was when he came across as more genuine, more relatable and therefore elicited more laughter.

Side note – the couple that sat beside us looked like they were one of those couples that went out in a bad mood and expected the comics to dance like monkeys and make them laugh.  The only times they did laugh were at the dirty dirty jokes (of which there were only a few that night).  I do like to watch the audience and see how they react and I just found it odd that they were lovers of the blue comedy.  To each his own I guess…

I love Simon King.  Let’s just get that out of the way.  However, because he’s a headliner, I felt like he was trying to get a 40 minute set into 20 minutes.  Time for laugh breaks or to let the audience catch up would be good every now and again.  That’s one thing about Simon – you always have to buckle up to watch him because he’s not a slow talker and you will miss half his act if you blink too often.  Still, it was great to see him and find out he’ll back as a headliner in November at The Laugh Shop.  Go – you won’t be disappointed.

Then came up Damonde, looking dapper in his suit.  Damonde is a storyteller, and he has that down to perfection.  He’s great at taking every day life and making it very humourous.   He even had some new material that he was trying out, and I’m sure he’ll have it polished in no time.  No complaints here – he is a superior comic and made our night out a very enjoyable one!

We took a few minutes after the show to sit and have a drink before we went home.  It was nice to be out alone with Tim and only be carrying a tiny purse.  Danielle did a great job with Vaughn and we definitely trust her to look after him again!

And then Holy Smokes Batman – I got a message about the lineup at Comedy Monday Night and it was one I wasn’t going to miss.  Allyson Smith hosting and performances by Jason Blanchard, Dan Guiry, Darryl Purvis, Damonde Tschritter, Casey Corbin, Scott Dumas and all capped off by Simon King.  I KNOW!  Blackie came to meet me there as it’s been ages since we’ve been out to a show together.

Allyson got the show off to a dirty start, but if there’s one room you can do dirty in, it’s Comedy Monday Night.  Anything goes and anything can happen (5 minutes at a time…) She has some great new material and did some of her tried and true stuff as well.  Great job, and it was so good to see her again!

Jason Blanchard took the bullet, and if I’m being perfectly honest, it wasn’t the best I’ve seen him do.  He got off to a rough start because of the usual drunk idiot at the bar who interrupts inappropriately.  But he’s a pro, and he got back on track to finish up his set.  He’s headlining tonight and I’m sure he’ll be his usual funny self.  I have always liked Jason – he doesn’t get to town that often and I’m glad I did get down to see him.

Dan, Dan, Dan.  Here’s someone I haven’t seen for 6 months and he wasn’t trying anything new.  I enjoy Dan – he makes me laugh, but I would really like to see new jokes.  Isn’t that what Comedy Monday Night is for???

If I learned one thing last Monday, it’s that you don’t want to do a joke off against Damonde.  Darryl and Damonde took to the stage to have a battle.  There was really no contest, Damonde won hands down.  Darryl got super dirty and a little offensive (to me) towards the end and turned me off.  I find it really hard to laugh at rape jokes, even if there is some sort of inside joke between a few people at the show.  However, it is only ever my opinion that I write about and that’s what you’re getting here.  Nuff said.

I was enjoying Casey Corbin’s new material about Vince, the Slap Chop/Shamwow guy but a little sad that he got tongue tied towards the end of his set.  I think his zombie joke would be funny if delivered right.  Fun few minutes, thanks!

Scott Dumas is another guy I’d like to see new material from.  It was almost like he wasn’t expecting any type of crowd, because in the middle of his set he stopped and asked why there was so many people there.  It was an odd moment in an odd set.

Simon King finished off the night with a set that had everyone laughing.  There were a few awkward moments (ie – dead baby joke).  His material isn’t meant to offend, but get the audience to think a little.  If you’re not fast, smart or used to his humour, you may not get him right away (or ever) but in my opinion, Simon is one of the funniest guys I’ve seen.  I love his Chinese Star Wars bit – not the most thought provoking, but definitely hilarious!

Such an entertaining evening, and it made me remember how much I enjoy Comedy Monday Night.  I probably won’t be able to go every week, but I do want to go back again real soon!

And then the next night, as if that wasn’t enough, my Auntie Fran took me out for a belated birthday celebration to see Debra Digiovanni at the Deerfoot Inn and Casino.  Darryl Purvis was hosting and Sean Lecomber (one of my local faves) was the middle act. 

If you’ve read my blog, you know I love Debra.  Any chance I get to see her, I jump at it. 

Anyway, the event was a fundraiser for the Calgary Emergency Women’s Shelter.  The representative from the organization started off the evening by informing us that Calgary has the highest incidence of domestic violence in Canada.  Little bit of a buzzkill dude, but seriously, Calgary men – stop hitting your women!  

So, Darryl Purvis was slightly offensive to me the night before and with that fresh in my memory, he would have to be extra funny to get laughter out of me that night.  For the most part, he was enjoyable, but a few of his jokes did cross the line a little and got some groans from the audience.  I can imagine that fundraisers are more difficult shows, because the crowd is not your typical comedy audience.  I guess that’s when a comic has to decide whether to stay true to their art or alter their act to suit the crowd.  It’s my guess Darryl stayed true to his art that night.

I’ve always enjoyed Sean Lecomber’s sassy brand of humour, but now that I have a baby I can relate to a lot of his material even more.  Not everything went over well with the crowd, and what I thought is a hilarious closer met with a lukewarm reaction.  What the h?  What was it going to take to get this audience to laugh?

Debra Digiovanni, that’s what!  Debra is instantly likeable and had the crowd laughing right away.  Of course, we were sitting in the front row so didn’t see everyone behind us, but those around us were laughing with gusto.  For as many times as I’ve seen Debra, she is never boring and I always leave happy.  You could tell after the show that they loved her, because the lineup to buy her CD was long and lots of people wanted to get their picture taken with her.  She was also giving a portion of the proceeds of the CD’s sold that night to the benefit. 

Now that I was on a roll and Tim is fine staying with Vaughn, I ended up going out one more night last week.  It was our friend Keith’s 30th birthday and his wife Alicia had arranged a surprise party for him.  We had originally planned to go and take Vaughn with us, but Vaughn had a different plan and decided he was going to stay home and go to bed.  Since I was all dressed up and ready to go, Tim stayed home with Vaughn and I went out by myself. 

I didn’t stay long, but it was great to get all dressed up and go out.  Keith was very surprised and quite emotional.  It was great to hear his band play, and overall a super fun night.

Needless to say, Friday was a stay at home do nothing day.  I was pooped. 

There, now you’re all caught up on my life at the moment.  This week is a little more tame, but I’m so looking forward to picking up my friend Candice at the airport on Friday.  I haven’t seen her for about 2 1/2 years and we have so much catching up to do in a short amount of time. 

Have a good week y’all!

Some time ago, I was talking with my cousin Jillian about the big adjustment from my previous life to motherhood.  We were discussing support groups and the different kinds of people we need in our lives to round everything out.  We agreed that we needed our new mommy friends, our old mommy friends and our friends that don’t have children.  Here’s how they break down (in no particular order) and why they are so important…

The “New Mommy Friend”

My new mommy friends are ones that I have met at Birth and Babies class.  We started a 10 week course not knowing each other but were all going through the same things at the same time.  Midway through our course, we had our babies with us at class and the bonding began. 

Every week, we get together at somebody’s house, put the babies together and have our time.  I don’t know what I would do without these girls – the support that I get from them is invaluable.  They understand exactly how I feel because they are often going through the same things I am.  Our babies are all close in age so we can watch them grow and change.  One week, someone’s got teeth, the next, another can roll over.  We share our experiences so everyone knows what to expect. 

I never thought when I went into this class that I would end up being friends with the people in it.  In my prior life, I would have never met any of these ladies, but I’m so very glad I did and I’m so thankful to have them in my new life.

The “Old Mommy Friend”

Or perhaps it should read the “experienced mommy friend”.   I lean on these friends so much – they have the experience and wisdom that I don’t have.  They assure me that what I’m going through is normal and that I’m not alone. 

Not only do they give me good solid baby advice, but they are also fantastic with relationship advice.  It’s no secret that Vaughn came very early into our relationship and it’s been really difficult balancing being a mother and a girlfriend all at once.  My old mommy friends are there to assure me that I can do this and help me to see things I can do better. 

My old mommy friends are happy to take Vaughn and I’m happy to let them.  They are not bothered by his crying and aren’t in a hurry to hand him back to me when he does start fussing.  They’re not concerned about spitup, drool or poop.  In fact, I even had one friend go and change his diaper for me while we were out having breakfast just to give me a little break. 

I admire my old mommy friends so much – they all have different styles of parenting, different backgrounds and different lifestyles.  What they all have in common is that they are great mothers and they give me so much to look forward to as Vaughn grows up. 

The “Not A Mommy Friend”

These friends are people who do not yet have children or have chosen not to have them.  These friends are the ones who help me to remember that I’m an individual person – not just Vaughn’s mom or Tim’s girlfriend.  They help me to have a life outside my family but are also some of my biggest supporters. 

I have to admit that these are also the friends I’m the most jealous of.  I love the life I’ve chosen now, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss my old life – the one where I didn’t have a little tiny person completely dependent on me for their well-being and happiness.   I’m not complaining, but there are certainly days that are harder than others and that’s when I need my not a mommy friends. 

They don’t tell me it’s normal because that’s not always what I want to hear.  I want to remember and be reminded that I am my own person.  But these friends are also happy to take Vaughn for a few minutes when need be.  When he starts to fuss though, they generally hand him back and that makes me feel special – I’m the one that Vaughn needs and I’m the one who will be there for him always.

So, friends, thank you.  I’m so very lucky to have you in my life.  I may not get to see everyone as much as I would like, but I know you’re in my life for a reason and every day I’m grateful I have you. 

Thank you for being a friend
Traveled down the road and back again
Your heart is true you’re a pal and a confidant.

And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you ever knew
You would see the biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say thank you for being a friend.

The more I get out with Vaughn the more annoyed I am with women and their strollers.  I say women because it’s mostly moms who are out with their babies during the day – at the mall, at the zoo, wherever.  I think it’s fantastic that we are getting out with our babies and showing them the world.  What I don’t think is fantastic is the disregard some women have for other women and their strollers. 

In the past 2 weeks, I have been cut off, run down, bumped and glared at.  Hey, I know it’s not easy maneuvering around with a stroller, but if everyone would just be a little more courteous I think we could all get along.  In fact, I’m going to be helpful here and give you some little tips on happy strollering:

1) If you are going to be on your cell phone or texting, much like driving a vehicle – PULL OVER!  I don’t know how many times I’ve been cut off because you are so busy and important with your cell phone. 

2) When waiting to get on an elevator, maybe try standing off to the side so the people on the elevator can get off without having to be like a pinball trying to get around you.  Nobody gets anywhere when you’re standing at the doors blocking traffic.

3) If you’re in a group, be mindful that others may not want to walk behind you at your pace, they may want to get around you.  The courteous thing to do in that situation is go into a single file line until you have your own space again.

4) If you hit someone, a little sorry goes a long way.  If you need to pass someone, say “excuse me”.   When someone lets you by, say “thanks”.  Manners people.

Now, just to be fair, I get a lot of eye rolls because I’m not fast enough, organized enough or in the way.  I’m trying to be a good stroller citizen.  Maybe people don’t realize they are annoying, maybe I’m oversensitive, I don’t know.  What I do know is that we’re all busy, we’re all important and we all have somewhere we’re going.  With so many babies in this city right now, it’s only going to get worse if people don’t start paying attention.  Not only will I thank you, but those who don’t have babies will thank you also.

One of the things I enjoy doing is going out.  Whether it’s going out to eat, go for a walk, go shopping, whatever, I like to go out.  I have always loved watching people and trying to figure out what makes them tick.  I try to figure out what their story might be and if I’m having trouble doing that, then oftentimes I will make up a story for them.

When I lived in Vancouver, my friend Laura and I would go to comedy shows 3-4 nights/week.  Before the weekend shows at the clubs, we would regularly go out for dinner prior to heading to the club.  When we got to the restaurants, we would scope out the joint looking for an interesting couple to sit next to – the best couples were those on first dates.

I don’t know why I find first dates so fascinating – here are two people trying to get to know each other to see if they are compatible beyond the initial meeting.  What’s fun is to try and figure out how they met – were they “set up”, did they meet on-line or was it a sober date after a drunken encounter at the bar?  Generally, by eavesdropping on the conversation, you can find that out.  As the blog title states, I am so nosy.

The reason I’m writing this blog is because we were witness to a different kind of encounter yesterday at a Father’s Day Brunch. 

Tim and I were waiting for our table and there was quite a lineup gathering behind us.  A lady who looked like she never dressed up but was dressed up for this occasion (yes, I’m judging her based on what she was wearing and how she looked) came blowing through the lineup to get two people who were towards the back of the queue.  She made quite a production about how the little boy was her son and had to introduce him to the host at the restaurant.  The lady had a very nervous energy about her, and I wondered why her son came in without her, accompanied by another lady that didn’t look like she belonged in the picture.  I am so nosy.

It turns out that they were seated on the other side of the lounge from us, but we heard everything she said to her little boy.  It appeared as though the gentleman seated at the table with them was the boy’s father, but it was the mother and her actions that intrigued me the most.  Whenever she (the mother) went to the buffet or did anything, she had to announce it and preface it with “your mommy” as if the boy didn’t know that she was his mommy.  And boy was she loud - we couldn’t help but overhear her fawning over her child.  It seemed very much over the top and lacked a certain genuine touch (from where we were seated).

To top it all off, the lady (lady #2) that escorted the little boy in had a notebook with her that she was writing notes in.  She didn’t eat from the buffet and didn’t appear to be anything more than cordial with the child’s parents.  Any time the little boy went anywhere with either of his parents, #2 followed them with notebook at hand.

Boy am I ever nosy.

The parents were most likely having a court supervised visit with their child and the mother with her nervous energy seemed desparate to try and impress lady #2.  Why do I even care and why am writing about this?

Well, I thought about that situation a lot after we left.  If I am right, then how sad must that lady have been to have lost control over her life enough to have her child taken from her.  I instantly knew when I had Vaughn that I will do anything to make sure he is safe and protected.  I say that now, but how do I know my life won’t spin out of control to end up seeing him on special occasions at a brunch buffet?

I guess that it’s up to me and Tim to ensure that we do our best every day to ensure that we do what we set out to do.  It’s no longer just us – we have to live our lives thinking about how our actions will have an effect on our son and how he grows up in this world.  I’ve always maintained that being a parent is the most important job anyone could ever have.  I say job because it’s work – hard work. 

There’s no one right way to parent a child.  We’ll make mistakes and plenty of them I’m sure.  I just can’t help but be sad for that lady who was obviously trying so hard to impress lady #2.  I especially feel sad for that little boy – how lost he must feel knowing that his parents love him but can’t be with him.  Who is there to kiss his tears away when he skins his knee?  Who reads him a story to help him sleep at night?  A little soul should never feel lost.

I promise to do my best, to do the best I can.  I have to go now – I have a baby boy to love like crazy.

On June 7, we had a gathering to celebrate the arrival of our little boy.  We were so happy that grandparents, friends and family were able to join us for an open house and barbeque.  My friend Karen was the hostess with the mostess – and with the help of her husband Terry and stepdaughter Eve decorated the rec centre and got everything ready for the day.

When I first walked into the hall, the first thing I noticed was the cake – custom made for us by Buttercream Bake Shoppe.  We have a sock monkey nursery and the cake was a sock monkey face.  It was so beautiful I wanted to cry (so I did).

Here’s a picture of Karen holding the guest of honour:

We had grandparents from both sides of the family attending.  My mom and dad came up on Friday night and mom babysat for us Saturday while Tim took his mom to a movie and dad took me to Costco to shop for Sunday.  We’re really lucky to have such a good little boy who doesn’t mind who is holding him.  In fact, I think everyone took a turn on Sunday and he didn’t squawk the whole time.  Here’s a picture of my mom and dad with Vaughn:

and one of Jodi and Vaughn with Elsa:

Everyone was great and pitched in to help with the food and drinks – it really was a great day.  It was so nice to visit with people I haven’t seen in a long time.  In fact, my Girl Guide leader made an appearance.  I asked when I get my mommy badge but unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) they don’t give those out to Girl Guides.

Vaughn’s wardrobe consisted of an IKKS aviator suit  and a Bebe Bean bamboo hat.  His aviator suit was a little big but he looked so adorable in it and he insisted on wearing it – what’s a mom to do?  Here’s a few more shots of people holding our baby boy:

Angela Lavender

Karen O'Keefe

Sarah Sikander

Bradford

Ed and Lorraine Bagyinka (Jodi's folks)

Bradford took a lot of these pictures, so thanks to him for that!  Instead of saying “cheese” everyone had to say “breastmilk” and then smile for the camera.

To end the day, we had a barbeque and my two uncles (Jim and John) took over the cooking of the burgers. 

What a great day all round!  Thanks to everyone who came out – it was truly a wonderful celebration.  Here’s a picture of me, Tim and Elsa with our spoiled rotten little man:

When you are expecting a baby, you dream about what life is going to be like after the little bundle of bundles arrives into the world.  You imagine a time of bliss, coos and never feeling more in love with your partner and can’t wait to be on this magical journey together.  Then your water breaks and your dreams wash away and reality starts to sink in.

Labour and delivery is different for everyone – mine was induced so I was expecting it to be a little bit harder based on stories I had heard.  The contractions started at around 1 AM but I was able to sleep through them.  At around 4:30 they were getting stronger and closer together so I had a shower to see if that would relieve the pain.  The hot water ran out so that ended that and by 5:30 I woke up Tim to tell him we should go back to the hospital.

We checked in at 6:27 and at 6:28 my water broke all over the floor in the triage room.  It continued to trickle out whenever I stood up and I left a little trail or puddle everywhere I went.  What was sad was that as strong as the contractions were, I was barely dilated.  However, because my water had broken they decided to keep me at the hospital instead of sending me home to wait things out. 

I was told that I was getting transferred to a labour and delivery room when a lady came in screaming like she had kittens inside her clawing her trying to get out.  She got bumped to the top of the list and I was left to hang out in the triage room.  Both the baby and I were doing good though and I had a relative amount of freedom to get up and walk around, go to the bathroom as required and even was able to eat a small meal.  When I transferred into the labour room, I was not going to be allowed to eat anything so it was important to get something in me to keep my energy level up.

Finally, at 11:30, I was transferred to a labour room.  My nurse was pretty new, as she was unable to get my IV into me, didn’t know how to work the bed and didn’t really give me the sense of security that I was hoping for.  She was very pleasant,  but when the more senior nurses came in to assist or relieve her, I felt much better having them around.  They hooked me up to a continuous fetal monitor which meant that I was unable to get up without a whole lot of effort and assistance from the nurse. 

The pains were getting a lot stronger after the Oxytocin started to take effect, but I was still only 3 cm dilated.  By the way, there is not a scientific way to determine how dilated you are.  I don’t know why I would have felt more comfortable with an instrument inserted inside me, but really and truly, I would have.  Most likely because it wasn’t always the same person who was checking me, so how do you know that one’s measurements are the same as another’s?  I myself would have felt more trusting having an instrument such as calipers do the measuring but there are just some things you have to get over when giving birth.  Modesty would be the first.

I was offered some laughing gas to get through the contractions and it really did nothing for the pain, but I did enjoy the buzz.  Apparently, the first tank they brought in wasn’t working so when they brought in the second tank, I felt a tiny bit of relief but that was short lived.  I was offered a shot of morphine, but it was such a low dose and did nothing, so we decided to go straight to the epidural.  It was about 3:30 PM and that was the only time Tim left me that day – he couldn’t watch me get the needle.

I was then about 5-6 cm dilated so things were moving along.  I had a steady stream of doctors and interns coming to check on me, and even in my fog, I couldn’t help wondering if there were any “Grey’s Anatomy”-type subplots happening with the staff.  Were there any Meredith and Christina BFF’s?  Was there a George somewhere pining for an Izzy who would never love him back?  I digress.

I went from 5-9 cm in the blink of an eye and then the delivering doctor came in to do one final check.  She figured since her hand was already inside me she might as well go that one bit further and she proceeded to tell me that I had a 7 lb baby and shouldn’t have any problem giving birth vaginally.  Excuse moi?  She could tell that just from the head size?  And should her hand have been all the way up inside me? 

This is where it started to get a little tricky.  When I was contracting through the later stages of labour, the baby’s heartbeat was going down to 100-105  but then bounced back up to a healthy 135 after the contraction was done.  When I hit 10 cm dilated and was ready to start pushing, the heartbeat went up to 180-182 but didn’t come back down. 

The obstetrician called in a birth team and I could tell they had some concerns – they don’t call in birth teams for nothing.  I knew the heart rate shouldn’t be that high and I couldn’t take my eyes off the monitor – I was willing the baby to slow things down but it just wasn’t happening.  It was at that point the doctor informed me that they needed to use the vacuum.  I had been pushing for about 40 minutes and the baby was obviously in some distress.  I agreed to the vacuum.

Tim reminded me that the vacuum/forceps was the one thing I didn’t want used during the birth, but I have to say that in that moment, all I cared about was the safe delivery of our child.  I told Tim the baby was in distress and needed to come out.  After 6 successive and huge pushes and the aid of the vacuum, Vaughn Douglas Riley was born into this world.  To find out we had a son after almost 40 weeks of pregnancy was a beautiful thing.

Vaughn was put on my tummy for a nanosecond before they whisked him away to do what they needed to do.  He scored 9 out of 10 on both of his Apgar tests (which I later found out is incredible) and as quickly as the birthing team came in, they left – they were obviously not needed.  Vaughn’s heart rate was stablized and he weighed in at a healthy 6 lbs 15 oz and 19 inches long.

I had a teeny bit of tearing so while the doctor was stitching me up, Tim got to feed Vaughn his first bottle and get a good look at our boy.  Since I had been fasting since arriving at the hospital, I was given a sandwich to curb my hunger.  It came up as fast as it went down so we had to resort to apple juice and crackers.  Yum.

Due to the fact I had impaired glucose tolerance during my pregnancy, Vaughn’s blood sugar levels had to be tested 4 times after birth to make sure they were within the normal parameters.  They were fine, but it broke my heart every time they had to put the needle in his foot to get blood.  He was not a happy camper and it was very hard to hear him cry.

We were transferred to a private room and the nurse did some more checking and at about midnight I was finally able to try and get some sleep.  Yeah right, I had this beautiful little boy laying beside me and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

In the morning, I was pleasantly surprised to see Tim arrive back at the hospital with my mom by his side.  Mom had come up the day before and was so excited to meet her newest little grandbaby.  Auntie Fran snuck in later posing as Tim’s mom, as only grandparents and spouses were allowed in as visitors.  It was a great day, but I was grateful for the peace and quiet later in the day to try and get some rest.

Vaughn had some troubles with breastfeeding.  I didn’t have any milk right away and he was having trouble latching on.  Apparently, the vacuum can cause problems with the baby’s jaw and does also give them quite a headache.  We tried every time we needed to feed him but always had to resort to bottle feeding formula.  The lactation consultants (or latchosaurus’ as I came to call them) were really rather rough with both him and me and I was left feeling a little bit frustrated.

While at the hospital, they started me on a breast pump to try and get my milk to come in.  I rejoiced if I got one tiny drop of colustrum in the bottom, but it didn’t happen every time I pumped.  However, if Vaughn wasn’t able to latch on, I was determined he was still going to get his nourishment from me and I begged my boobs to start producing the milk he needed so badly.

A day later and we’re leaving the hospital…

There are so many stressful things about bringing a baby home.  Here is this precious little life that you are now solely responsible for.  You don’t have anyone at your beck and call – you can’t just run out into the hallway and grab a nurse who will answer all your questions.  Our biggest problem was the gosh darn car seat.  Was it done up right?  Why couldn’t we agree on how he should be sat in it?  All of the frustration and anxiety of being a new mother came out towards Tim and the car seat.  We finally agreed he was snug and not going to fall out and proceeded to check ourselves out of the hospital.

As Tim drove the car out of the parkade, The Sweetest Thing by U2 happened to be playing on the radio.  Now, I know it’s not necessarily the loviest song, but there are a few lines that really stuck out – “a blue eyed boy meets a brown eyed girl” and “baby’s got blue skies up ahead”.  Tim made eye contact with me in the rear view mirror and we both started crying. 

And thus began our journey into parenthood.

After a few weekends of feeling a little shut in, Tim and I decided to head over to the Toad ‘n’ Turtle to check out Daryl Makk’s recently relocated Comedy Detour.  I was wondering how they would accomodate a comedy show, since it is very close to my work and I go there now and again for lunch. 

The room itself was set up nicely, not really a bad seat in the place.  Not a whole lot of seating, so you know you’re in for a more intimate show.  Also, the lighting wasn’t truly dark, it appeared very easy for the performers to see the audience and other audience members to see each other.  I could clearly see my paper to write on.  Why does this matter?  Well, I’ll get to that in a few minutes.

Our server was very attentive and accomodating right from the start.  She seemed to know what a comedy show was about and made sure to keep her voice down so as not to detract from the comics on the stage.  And when one table got a little out of control, she promptly got them out of there with very little fuss.

The only problem I had with the venue was the bathroom (and I visit bathrooms a lot more these days).  One of the stalls had a pluggage problem, the taps were leaky and it was freezing cold.  It was not a very well kept bathroom.  I don’t know if that matters to anyone else, but it does to me.

We decided to have dinner there, because I do like to support the venues and eat a meal whenever possible.  I’m on a bit of a restricted diet right now because of my pregnancy, so trying to find something that’s not going to spike my blood sugars is sometimes tricky.  Thankfully, they have an extensive menu so it was pretty easy to find something that worked for me.  I really enjoyed my meal and I’m pretty sure Tim did too – very good size portions for a good price = excellent value.

A bit of background before I start in on my thoughts about the show.  Earlier last week, Lars Callieou (who was the headliner) wrote a note on facebook stating that although he liked what I had to say about him, he wanted to know what I didn’t like about his set, or thought he could improve upon.  So now is confession time – this is the first time I went to a show with that frame of mind.  I’m normally very optimistic and expect good things – I don’t always get it, but I always hope that the show is going to be entertaining.

So, here’s how I felt – in all honesty.

Donovan Deschner was the MC and I felt like he was doing too much crowd work off the top.  Back to my thought at the beginning of this blog; the room - smaller, the crowd – not a big one, the lighting – not completely dark – and that made for a more less responsive audience.  There is something about the dark that makes people more likely to respond to an MC.  And chances are that in a crowd of 20-30 people, very few might be celebrating something.  It just seemed to me like Donovan was trying to do a club job of MC’ing in a room that didn’t need it. 

I say this because when Donovan came up between Derek and Lars and just did his material, he was far more likeable, seemed much more in his element and got the audience laughing.  His first 10 minutes, however, was awkward from where I was sitting.  But I did happen to grab a good picture of him:

Derek Sweet took the stage for a guest spot.  Sometimes, I feel like Derek is reciting a soliliquoy versus interacting with the audience and Saturday night was one of those times.  While I can see an improvement in his writing, his delivery didn’t feel natural and his set suffered for it.  There were some shining moments, and I do very much like his bit about his shyness in public bathrooms and his shopping for a foster child - those came across as real and relatable.

Then came up Lars Callieou.  It’s no secret I enjoy Lars – he always makes me laugh.  Why?  Because he is that guy next door with a funny view of the world he grew up in versus how things are in the present time.  However, since he asked and I’m being honest, there were a few things I noticed this time that perhaps I might have overlooked before. 

When Lars came to the stage, he mentioned something about the decor of the room, which was actually funny, but then when he turned around and started talking about the curtains and opening them up, I felt that was a bit of a time waster and set interrupter.  He then mentioned a few times that bits he was doing worked or didn’t work, and I don’t know that I care for that at a professional show – I like to feel as though that person has put thought and effort into that particular set for that particular audience and we’re not guinea pigs.  That is what open mics are for, n’est pas?

On the whole though, Lars didn’t fail to impress me and I think the audience was very receptive to him and his humour.  He did go down the blue road a few times, but always pulled it back just before it got too dirty on us.  (Sidenote to Lars on the the Kama Sutra bit – look up Hot Carl) .    And since he asked, there was one bit that just didn’t do it for me (and as always, it’s just my opinion) and that was the family picture done by photo radar.

Overall, a very good night, as per usual.  The new venue is great – there was very little disruption, the staff seemed to be very on the ball and we didn’t want for anything.  If I could improve on anything, it would be the lighting.  I would also like to comment on how dapper all the guys looked and how lovely Esther looked working the door.  It was a very classy night, and I’m looking forward to hitting a few more shows before the baby arrives.

After 2 useless nights of trying to get through to the Yuk Yuk’s box office and no response from my on-line reservation request, Tim and I decided to head down to the casino and see if we could get in to the Sunday night show that Nikki Payne was putting on.  It was Tim’s 40th birthday so we wanted to do something.

Thankfully there were tickets and the reason given for the lack of response was the big influx of calls due to it being opening weekend.  Okay, but if you know you’re going to be swamped with calls, shouldn’t you hire a few more people to make sure everyone gets looked after? 

Then to top it all off, we get upstairs and when I inquire about a certain table, I was informed that a “rich guy” reserved it.  Wouldn’t it have been enough to say it was reserved?  Did you have to throw the “rich guy” thing in there?  Did we look that destitute?  I wonder how said “rich guy” would have reacted had he known that is how he was being referred to.  Big whoopee, so the guy has money.  How about next time answer your cotton pickin’ phone so I too might be able to reserve a table.  Hmph.

Anyway, Gary was able to find us a fairly decent table where we didn’t have to fight with a big crowd or sit with a bunch of strangers so that’s nice.  We settled in and were looking forward to the show.

Jay Brown was the MC for the evening.  Here’s where I’m conflicted.  The Jay Brown that appears as “Boomclack” on the Comedy Couch (a Vancouver message board for comics) didn’t seem to be the same person.  The Jay Brown that I saw last night was quite affable (although he was very colourful with his comedy).  He did a stellar job of MC’ing the show and keeping the crowd interested.  Very different from the individual whose posts I read, oftentimes with distain. 

I think what comics need to keep in mind is that when they post on a public forum people will formulate opinions of them based on what they say and how they say it.  It’s not just your stage show that gains you fans, it’s also how you conduct yourself off stage – that often gives people more of an insight into your true character, and yes, it will count in their overall opinion of you. 

So what is my overall opinion of Jay Brown? Well, I don’t agree with everything he says on Comedy Couch, but then again, not everybody agrees with my opinions either.  I did find him to be entertaining, certainly edgy and is someone I would definitely see again.

Dan Guiry had the first guest spot last night.  Dan spoke very quietly and slowly and it took the audience a bit to catch up with him.  I like Dan best when he has his guitar with him and he’s doing his quirky songs.  He was just a little flat for me – I’m used to seeing more oomph in his performances than what I saw last night.  I did like his sex on mushrooms bit though.

Manolis Zontanos had the other guest spot.  Manolis was on his way home to Toronto after touring out west for a bit.  While I wasn’t completely blown away, he was entertaining enough.  Somehow though I expect more from an experienced headliner, but that’s also why I don’t always like headliners doing guest spots – I feel like they don’t feel like they have to try as hard and therefore don’t impress me as much as when they do their own headlining set.  That’s just my observation.

Can monkeys do jazz feet?  Ask Sean Lecomber, he’ll tell you.  From the very second he walked on stage, I was laughing.  Sean has an easy going manner with an underbite of sarcasm that gets me every time I see him.  I sincerely enjoy the way this guy’s mind works and I’m looking forward to seeing him again on Wednesday as he competes for $25,000 in the Yuk Yuk’s Great Canadian Laugh Off.  A very funny and enjoyable middle act on his way to being a bona fide headliner very soon (I hope!).

Then the main attraction – the diminutive in size but gigantic in stage presence – Nikki Payne.  Nikki was just here not too long ago and we got to see her close up and personal.  However, seeing her again in a big full room (with no sound system hiccups) made it that much more entertaining.   She’s a dirty little girl, but she certainly gets away with it. 

It was interesting to hear a more elaborate story about her special gift (one of her kidneys) to her father.  In between fits of air humping and spritzing with the front row, there were some good laughs at her time in the hospital. 

Nikki pokes fun at herself but I love how she recognizes her “disability” gives her an advantage in her chosen profession.  It’s not always easy to understand her, but then when someone does have a speech impediment I think the audience tends to pay more attention – they don’t want to miss anything.

It was so great to see Nikki again, and I’m looking forward to some of the upcoming shows at Yuk Yuk’s new club in Calgary.  I have to find me a way to get me some more money though so I can be some “rich chick” who reserved that seat.

A girl can dream…

On Wednesday night, there were a few firsts – it was the unofficial first night of the new Yuk Yuk’s in Calgary and it was the first night of the Great Canadian Laugh Off competition.  There was a mix of pros and amateurs vying for a spot in the semi-finals where the winner will receive a trip to Toronto to compete for the grand prize of $25,000.  Why wouldn’t someone want to go for it?

I have to say it was nice to be back at Yuk Yuk’s – I’ve always found they know how to do it right when it comes to comedy.  Even though it was a brand new location, there was some experienced people running the show.  I loved the wait staff – our girl in particular was so polite – it was refreshing.  It’s sad that I’ve become accustomed to rude or barely existent wait staff in comedy clubs so when someone shows the slightest bit of friendliness they outshine the competition.  I hope that keeps up, because atmosphere and service counts a lot for my comedy experiences.

As many people know, last year I was a judge for most of the preliminary rounds as well as for the finals.  While I wasn’t a judge on Wednesday night, I did take some notes and for the most part, I agree with the judges as to who deserved to go through to the semi-finals.  Here’s how I saw the night:

First up was Edmonton’s Welby Santos.  Welby didn’t do anything that I hadn’t heard before.  I realize he’s drawing from real life experiences but to be honest, his take wasn’t particularly fresh and the whole bad Asian stereotype has been done much better by many others.  He wasn’t horrible but not completely memorable either.

Amanda Brooke Perrin was the next one up and I just realized was the only female on for the night.  While Amanda’s stage presence is getting better, not everybody gets her right away (I don’t think) and it takes a while for people to realize she’s not nervous, it’s a persona that she has.  If she did a better job of leading from one joke to another I think it might help the overall flow of her set, but she did stick to a lot of her tried and true material.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to get her a spot in the semis.

After Amanda came Mike Tod and I think he would be the first to say it wasn’t his best moment.  I’m conflicted when it comes to Mike, because I think he’s adorable and has so much personality but none of that shone through on Wednesday night.  He was all over the place and didn’t have the sparkle in his eye that he normally has.  Not much more to say except it was a disappointment.

A new to Alberta comic, Alex Roach, was up next.  Alex was certainly likeable but I think he needs to own his material a little more.  I just wasn’t convinced.  However, for someone just getting started he’s doing a pretty admirable job.

Lyle Bateman had one of his better sets that I’ve seen in a while.  He has the confidence, but it wasn’t until he started doing his rap that he got the audience on his side.  He’s such a horrible dancer and he knows it but that is what makes him more endearing I suppose.  Certainly the not the best of the night, but for darn sure not the worst of the night.

Tim Reynolds changed up his act and did his material “beatnik” style with blue glasses and bongo drums.  It made his overall set more interesting than usual but it did also seem a little weird.  Not sure about that set.

Then a breath of fresh air, Lars Callieou, came to the stage.  I have never seen Lars do a bad set and Wednesday night was no exception.  He started strong and stayed there.  I liked the fact he added some new material – it’s so hard because I’ve seen so many of these people so many times that often I have to go by how the audience reacts to gauge my reaction.  However, Lars is someone I’ve seen a few times, know his material, but enjoy it every time just the same.  And that for me is the difference – when you can see someone over and over again and you can’t wait to hear your favourite bits of theirs.  Not every comic is like that for me.  Well done Lars!

I didn’t understand a single word Scott Porteous said.  Not one word.

Daryl Makk had a good strong set, but one would expect that from a professional comic such as Daryl.  Daryl did seem to go over a little over his allotted time and I was correct in that assumption – had he stayed in the 5 minutes, rumour has it he may have taken first place for the night. 

Last up was Michael Harrison, someone I haven’t seen for a long time but remember well.  I thought Michael’s set was clean, clever and well done.  I was honestly surprised when he didn’t make it through to the semi-finals, because I thought for sure he had one of the top 3 sets of the night.  He is polished, polite and I think well on his way to being a name in Canadian comedy. 

Comedy competitions (well, comedy in general) are always subjective aren’t they?  You’re relying on 3 people who may or may not have a strong comedy background, a love for the art and know what makes a good performance to score you high enough points to get you through to the next round.  I hope each and every comic stays true to their art and doesn’t pander to what they think will get them the highest marks, because you never do know, and at the end of the day, you still have to look at yourself in the mirror.  I like to think the judges are smart enough to see through crap and recognize individuality and give points for that.  I hope. 

Anyway, moving on to the semi-finals are Lars Callieou and Daryl Makk, both excellent choices in my mind. 

Clark Robertson closed out the show with a fairly solid 15 minutes. 

Oh yeah, I have to say Stan Thomson did a great job of MC’ing – he kept that show moving right along and made sure it was done in good time.  So nice to get out of there by 10:00 (and that’s after being a social butterfly for half an hour or so).

I’m really looking forward to next week - there are a lot of new names I haven’t seen before and I think it will make for interesting spectatorship.  I’m hoping they will let the general public in by then so the comics have a bigger audience to perform to.