I Am So Nosy

One of the things I enjoy doing is going out.  Whether it’s going out to eat, go for a walk, go shopping, whatever, I like to go out.  I have always loved watching people and trying to figure out what makes them tick.  I try to figure out what their story might be and if I’m having trouble doing that, then oftentimes I will make up a story for them.

When I lived in Vancouver, my friend Laura and I would go to comedy shows 3-4 nights/week.  Before the weekend shows at the clubs, we would regularly go out for dinner prior to heading to the club.  When we got to the restaurants, we would scope out the joint looking for an interesting couple to sit next to – the best couples were those on first dates.

I don’t know why I find first dates so fascinating – here are two people trying to get to know each other to see if they are compatible beyond the initial meeting.  What’s fun is to try and figure out how they met – were they “set up”, did they meet on-line or was it a sober date after a drunken encounter at the bar?  Generally, by eavesdropping on the conversation, you can find that out.  As the blog title states, I am so nosy.

The reason I’m writing this blog is because we were witness to a different kind of encounter yesterday at a Father’s Day Brunch. 

Tim and I were waiting for our table and there was quite a lineup gathering behind us.  A lady who looked like she never dressed up but was dressed up for this occasion (yes, I’m judging her based on what she was wearing and how she looked) came blowing through the lineup to get two people who were towards the back of the queue.  She made quite a production about how the little boy was her son and had to introduce him to the host at the restaurant.  The lady had a very nervous energy about her, and I wondered why her son came in without her, accompanied by another lady that didn’t look like she belonged in the picture.  I am so nosy.

It turns out that they were seated on the other side of the lounge from us, but we heard everything she said to her little boy.  It appeared as though the gentleman seated at the table with them was the boy’s father, but it was the mother and her actions that intrigued me the most.  Whenever she (the mother) went to the buffet or did anything, she had to announce it and preface it with “your mommy” as if the boy didn’t know that she was his mommy.  And boy was she loud - we couldn’t help but overhear her fawning over her child.  It seemed very much over the top and lacked a certain genuine touch (from where we were seated).

To top it all off, the lady (lady #2) that escorted the little boy in had a notebook with her that she was writing notes in.  She didn’t eat from the buffet and didn’t appear to be anything more than cordial with the child’s parents.  Any time the little boy went anywhere with either of his parents, #2 followed them with notebook at hand.

Boy am I ever nosy.

The parents were most likely having a court supervised visit with their child and the mother with her nervous energy seemed desparate to try and impress lady #2.  Why do I even care and why am writing about this?

Well, I thought about that situation a lot after we left.  If I am right, then how sad must that lady have been to have lost control over her life enough to have her child taken from her.  I instantly knew when I had Vaughn that I will do anything to make sure he is safe and protected.  I say that now, but how do I know my life won’t spin out of control to end up seeing him on special occasions at a brunch buffet?

I guess that it’s up to me and Tim to ensure that we do our best every day to ensure that we do what we set out to do.  It’s no longer just us – we have to live our lives thinking about how our actions will have an effect on our son and how he grows up in this world.  I’ve always maintained that being a parent is the most important job anyone could ever have.  I say job because it’s work – hard work. 

There’s no one right way to parent a child.  We’ll make mistakes and plenty of them I’m sure.  I just can’t help but be sad for that lady who was obviously trying so hard to impress lady #2.  I especially feel sad for that little boy – how lost he must feel knowing that his parents love him but can’t be with him.  Who is there to kiss his tears away when he skins his knee?  Who reads him a story to help him sleep at night?  A little soul should never feel lost.

I promise to do my best, to do the best I can.  I have to go now – I have a baby boy to love like crazy.

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